In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. He chose the path, of perpetual standing. In his ravenous discomfort, he found no peace, and with boiling blood, he scoured the likes of Amazon and eBay, seeking vengeance against the build quality of the previous throne, who had wronged him.
And those who tasted the bite of his complaints, named him:
R4LRetro.
My chair broke :x