(TLDR: What are your favorite non-violent games?)
At first you don't notice. You've been lying on the deceleration floor for 3 months staring at the ceiling while the robotic arm periodically hands you Astronaut Mush (TM) and water. You can't remember the last time you played a game, listened to some music or watched or read a story. The psychological evaluation was BS. They tricked you! Bastids just needed a sucker to go on this forever mission to nowhere and....
Lights of all colors fill your tiny living space. That's not normal. You carefully rise from the deceleration floor, all your bones and muscles protesting the rare movement, and you stagger to the window. The lights are coming from the object of humanity's obsession, the reason you got suckered into this trip. You reach for the computer and realize you never bothered moving it from the acceleration panel on the "upside" of the ship. You enter your unlock code into the keypad on the current "downside" of the ship and then somehow manage to remember, much to your own surprise, the code for the deceleration configuration. Slowly, control panels full of buttons and switches and screens start to move in your direction and finally lock into place before you.
You focus the ship's sensors on the lightshow in front of you and press the Voice Activation button.
"Cortana, what do you make of these lights?" you say.
"I don't know what you mean by 'making of lights,'" Cortana responds.
"Cortana, record the lights," you say.
"I don't know how to 'record the lights'," Cortana responds.
Thank the gods for Cortana. So handy, you think. You press a few buttons and record the lights emanating from the object you are approaching. You record for a full minute then replay the recording in slow motion. Sure enough, the flashing of different colored lights appears to be some sort of mathematical language. You convert each color of light into it's wavelength and the number of times that color flashes and the overall order of the flashes, and soon you have a spreadsheet full of dual number groups.
"Cortana, decipher this code," you say.
The message Cortana immediately displays for you:
"You are in violation of Intergalactic Noise Ordinance #3342 of the Planet Owners Association. Your willful transmission of low effort and violent television shows has reduced Real Estate values everywhere within 80 light years of your planet. Per the established abatement procedures, your planet has been scheduled for recycling in 1209 of your planet's days. You have....72 hours left to contest this decision by transmitting proof that you are a reasonable and peaceful species. We have gathered a collection of your species' entertainment options that you refer to as "Steam", but, as we expected, there is too much low effort, violent garbage here for us to sort through. Therefore, you must point us to 3 works that demonstrate that you can be a peaceful and thoughtful member of our galactic neighborhood."
What 3 peaceful games from Steam do you select to show the Planet Owners Association?
At first you don't notice. You've been lying on the deceleration floor for 3 months staring at the ceiling while the robotic arm periodically hands you Astronaut Mush (TM) and water. You can't remember the last time you played a game, listened to some music or watched or read a story. The psychological evaluation was BS. They tricked you! Bastids just needed a sucker to go on this forever mission to nowhere and....
Lights of all colors fill your tiny living space. That's not normal. You carefully rise from the deceleration floor, all your bones and muscles protesting the rare movement, and you stagger to the window. The lights are coming from the object of humanity's obsession, the reason you got suckered into this trip. You reach for the computer and realize you never bothered moving it from the acceleration panel on the "upside" of the ship. You enter your unlock code into the keypad on the current "downside" of the ship and then somehow manage to remember, much to your own surprise, the code for the deceleration configuration. Slowly, control panels full of buttons and switches and screens start to move in your direction and finally lock into place before you.
You focus the ship's sensors on the lightshow in front of you and press the Voice Activation button.
"Cortana, what do you make of these lights?" you say.
"I don't know what you mean by 'making of lights,'" Cortana responds.
"Cortana, record the lights," you say.
"I don't know how to 'record the lights'," Cortana responds.
Thank the gods for Cortana. So handy, you think. You press a few buttons and record the lights emanating from the object you are approaching. You record for a full minute then replay the recording in slow motion. Sure enough, the flashing of different colored lights appears to be some sort of mathematical language. You convert each color of light into it's wavelength and the number of times that color flashes and the overall order of the flashes, and soon you have a spreadsheet full of dual number groups.
"Cortana, decipher this code," you say.
The message Cortana immediately displays for you:
"You are in violation of Intergalactic Noise Ordinance #3342 of the Planet Owners Association. Your willful transmission of low effort and violent television shows has reduced Real Estate values everywhere within 80 light years of your planet. Per the established abatement procedures, your planet has been scheduled for recycling in 1209 of your planet's days. You have....72 hours left to contest this decision by transmitting proof that you are a reasonable and peaceful species. We have gathered a collection of your species' entertainment options that you refer to as "Steam", but, as we expected, there is too much low effort, violent garbage here for us to sort through. Therefore, you must point us to 3 works that demonstrate that you can be a peaceful and thoughtful member of our galactic neighborhood."
What 3 peaceful games from Steam do you select to show the Planet Owners Association?
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