You awaken in a grassy field, unable to remember how you got here.

[ZedClampet]

This is exactly my dilemma this morning. My excuse is the grass is too wet to mow...

Just play Lawn Mowing Simulator. I'm pretty sure that counts as mowing the lawn.

 

[Brian Boru]

You decide to play Lawn Mowing Simulator, but after 5 minutes it crashes to grasstop with a GSOD. Do you:

_Reboot and try Laundry Simulator;
_Rage quit and go take it out on the real grass;
_Since grass is wet, strip off and go roll in it.

 

[ZedClampet]

I press F5 to quicksave and make my selection:

_Since grass is wet, strip off and go roll in it.

 

[Brian Boru]

You go roll in the wet grass.

_It's so much fun, but you spent so long you're now covered in green;
_The grass is prickly and tickly, so you give up after a couple of rolls;
_Over the hedge you see a FedEx truck pull up, and hear the delivery woman approaching the gate, singing softly to herself.

 

[ZedClampet]

_Over the hedge you see a FedEx truck pull up, and hear the delivery woman approaching the gate, singing softly to herself.

I like where this is headed.

 

[Brian Boru]

_Delivery woman curses "Damn, wrong freaking street!" and gets back in truck, slamming door.

Hey, anyone can join in and post scenarios, you know—all you need is a lack of shame at displaying your warped mind. Shouldn't be an issue here…

 

[ZedClampet]

_Delivery woman curses "Damn, wrong freaking street!" and gets back in truck, slamming door.

I'm more disappointed than I was at the end of Mass Effect 3. I check to see how long I played the game...

 

[Brian Boru]

You discover you played Mass Effect 3 for 650 hours!?!?

_You were a sheep looking for its Shepherd;
_You were a Shepard looking for its shape;
_The sermon affected you very deeply.

 

[ZedClampet]

_The ending had been spoiled for you, and you kept getting drunk and passing out while the game was still running on your PC. When you finally realized how long you'd been there, in this endless cycle, you pushed violently against the desk to move your chair far away from your enticing bottles of liquor. Unfortunately, your heart couldn't take the exertion, and you collapsed to the floor--dead.

This sounds more like a Disco Elysium answer.

 

[ZedClampet]

You awaken. For some reason you can't open your eyes. Or maybe you are blind. Are your eyes open or not? You can't really tell. All you can tell is that you are stretched out on a completely flat surface. Your memory seems a little shoddy. though. You don't remember where you are, your name or anything else of note. You mull over the possibility that your brain is damaged like your eyes and ears.

_Concentrate on listening. There has to be some sort of sound here.
_Try harder to open your eyes.
_Attempt to move your arms.

 

[Pifanjr]

Attempt to move arms

 

[SWard]

You slowly attempt to move your arms, on your wrist you see a gold Rolex, on closer inspection an inscription reads "Post good." As you begin to become aware of your surroundings you can hear what sounds like a an old record player playing "Take the long way home" by Supertramp. There is a faint smell of violets in the air.

- Try to speak
- Play possum until you have more clue as to where you are
- Yell for the cops

 

[Brian Boru]

- Try to speak

Awk… Blah…

 

[SWard]

Awk… Blah…

Hmm. Maybe we should try that again? You take a deep breath, focus and think about things carefully, what you say next could change everything, so make it good,

- IS ANYONE THERE?
- HELP
- BEES!

 

[ZedClampet]

- IS ANYONE THERE?

Please make it the delivery lady @Brian Boru introduced but got rid of!

 

[SWard]

"There.... there... there...." Your voice echoes.... you can hear a rustling noise, as you struggle to see, you can hear it get closer and closer.... as you force your eyes open, you are taken aback by what you see. A large ginger cat looks back at you. "Meow?"

- Pet cat
- Move away from cat
- Look at collar on cat

 

[Kaamos_Llama]

Attempt to....

- Pet cat

as is only right and proper.

 

[SWard]

You pet the cat, the cat is happy with this. Suddenly the cats eye's look solemn, foreboding even... the cat raises it's paw and gestures to a nearby shed, from the shed you can hear the music. "Take the long way home..."

- Pet Cat
- Stand up
- Sing along

 

[Pifanjr]

- Pet Cat

I agree with @Kaamos_Llama , it is only proper.

 

[SWard]

You pet the cat again. It begins to purr.

- Pet cat
- Stand up
- Read collar

 

[Kaamos_Llama]

Read collar

 

[Brian Boru]

You read the collar—engraved on an attached silver plate is:

_Pet me again, 10 times to make a wish
_For 3 wishes, tie a knot in my tail without getting your face scratched to shreds
_Feed me

 

[ZedClampet]

_Pet me again, 10 times to make a wish

Resisting the urge to subdue the wild beast and tie it's tail into a knot...

 

[Brian Boru]

You start petting the cat, contemplating what you'll wish for—A million dollars, return of the delivery lady, a nice…

MRREOWW!

If you thought its eyes looked solemn or foreboding earlier, they're positively livid now. Ok, so maybe you shouldn't have petted there…

Cat stalks off towards the musical shed, tail quivering.

_Follow the cat at a safe distance
_Wonder if whoever the cat's going to complain to has a shotgun
_Look around for a squirrel to pet

 

[Frindis]

The tail quivering might be a sign of a cat with a compulsive disorder, so I'll:
_Follow the cat at a safe distance