Whats the polar opposite of "cozy" games like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley?

Just within the games that I play, I would say having an oxygen meter removes a lot of coziness, but I can't think of any that I would describe as hectic.

The most ridiculously stressful and hectic game that I've played recently was Outlast Trials, particularly in the highest difficulty levels. Unlike a lot of the other suggestions, Outlast Trials doesn't require twitch reflexes or shooting skills, although they can be helpful. What Outlast Trials really takes, though, are crazy on-the-fly planning and stealth skills, and when that inevitably fails, a great sense of direction and the ability to flee and hide, often from multiple enemies at the same time. I've had rounds that lasted 45 minutes and I probably spent almost half that time running for my life, and the other half praying not to be detected. It is not cozy.
 
Doom or one of those intense/complex simulators like Civ 6 or Hearts of Iron, I'd think.

I do think games like DOOM can be relaxing in a way because they allow you to turn off the thinking part of your brain and just rely on reflexes and muscle memory, whereas complex games like Civ 6 or XCOM on high difficulty require a lot more thought and planning.
 

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