Looking for like-minded gamers

Mar 14, 2024
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Hello.

Nice to meet you. I’ve just joined the PC Gamer community, but I often read its articles as an unregistered user. The biggest crisis I (and probably many other gamers) face today is lack of connections. I go to work, come home, play games alone, go to bed, and repeat. Turns out that’s not great for mental health. It’s also not good for professional development and networking. So, I’ve decided to register here to see if I can’t find a few similarly lonely but like-minded gamers lurking around. Who knows, maybe it’ll even lead to some work connections.

People often throw the terms ‘casual’ and ‘hardcore’ around as antonyms, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear consensus on what they mean. Everyone interprets them differently. In fact, descriptors of skill and/or playstyle tend to be subjective in general. Consequently, it can be rather hard to find people who are on the same page. Or at least, that’s my experience. It’s hard to actually describe myself as a gamer in a way that other people will understand objectively. Still, I’ve got to try, so here goes nothing.

Having played games for over two decades, I’m obviously experienced. However, my personality also makes me the type to binge on things. If you’re into that MBTI stuff (I’m not a convert, but I’ve read them out of curiosity), then I’d describe myself as an INFP, maybe. I’m fairly idealistic and I get really into whatever catches my attention. As a gamer, this means I put in the hours. A lot of hours. If it’s a game with a high replay value and I like it, then chances are I have at least 100-200 hours in it. I’ve clocked thousands in some of my old standby MMOs, with over 10000 in RuneScape alone. These hours translate into skill, but I am neither competitive (consequently, I almost never play PvP games) nor ambitious. Therefore, I don’t actively study and improve my game the way you might expect a high-end competitive gamer to. However, I am still a perfectionist within my own standards. That means I try to play my best. And that usually means figuring out ‘effective’ ways to play the game (i.e. “the meta”). Despite this, I hold a great deal of contempt for meta-minded gameplay. Yes, I want to be effective. Yes, I want to play my best. But, I don’t play for the meta. I simply want to make use of the parts that I like in order to meet my own high standards. The culmination of all this is that I am what might be described as a highly skilled casual gamer.

I’ve found it difficult to fit into gaming communities that are often tacitly segregated into “casual” and “hardcore” groups. One side aims to play at the highest level as defined by certain commonly held ideals. They’re always clearing the latest, greatest, and hardest games and content and then clamouring for more. Meanwhile, the other side seems to just be super laid back, with an “anything goes” mindset. “Let people do what they want.” It’s great to be so friendly and welcoming, but it also comes at the cost of anything skill-based. I have a couple of gaming friends and I really enjoy playing with them because we’re like-minded both in games and in the real world, but they can never keep up with my pace, so I slow down for them. I’m happy to have such great friends, but I’d also like to have some friends who I don’t have to slow down for.

Having similar values outside of games is also important to get along as more than just bantering in-game clanmates, so I’ll introduce that briefly as well, without getting overly political.

I believe in honesty, open-mindedness, creativity, and individualism. I really struggle with modern society’s emphasis on material value and money. The most valuable things in life are immaterial and/or can’t be bought. I dislike wastefulness and consumerism in general. I’m not a fan of capitalism either, but it’s never the fault of specific political systems, so it’s more accurate to just say that I disagree with the way modern society functions. Game worlds often reflect the same dysfunctions, which exasperates me. Even though I value open-mindedness, I’m probably more closed-minded than I think. I live in Japan and, as an individualist, I dislike feeling that I have to assimilate into its culture and tend to openly vent my frustrations. I’m not sure whether that makes me the *******. As you can probably tell, I’m a prolific writer. I’m better with the written word. It lets me formulate my thoughts. My favorite place to be is actually not in-game. I love just standing alone on quiet mountaintops in the wind.

So, that’s me. Please feel free to say ‘Hi’ if you feel like gaming with me. I live in Japan, so my connection to North America can be patchy. If you’re on the west coast it’s not too bad, though. If you’re also in Japan, that’d be great. I don’t have any gamer friends in Japan.

Here's a (non-exhaustive) list of games I play. I come and go from games all the time, though, and am happy to try new ones so long as they don't melt my PC (and my wallet). I'm particularly into co-op experiences right now.

Co-op/MMOs
・V Rising
・Risk of Rain 2
・Gunfire Reborn
・Outward
・Wildermyth
・RuneScape
・Final Fantasy XIV
・Vindictus
・...and various small, dedicated co-op puzzlers and/or social games.

Team-based PvP (I am only interested in these in dedicated, friend-only games)
・League of Legends
・Star Wars Battlefront 2 Classic
・Splatoon 2

Singleplayer and/or Multiplayer-lite
・As Far As The Eye
・Baba Is You
・Book of Travels
・Celeste
・Hades
・A Hat in Time
・Mark of the Ninja
・Ori and the Blind Forest/Will of the Wisps
・Portal
・Sable
・Spiritfarer
・Trails in the Sky
 
Last edited:
Mar 14, 2024
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Welcome! If you want to find people to play with, it would help listing what genres of games or which specific games you're interested in. The only one you mentioned is MMOs, but for those you typically have better luck joining a guild and making friends in the game rather than asking around on a forum for PC gaming in general.
It's more about finding like-minded gamers, since we can always then talk about what games we play. Still, you're right. I should include a list of some games I play.
 
Howdy,

I agree with you on that meta focused idea and believe it's the bane of many games, even tabletop wargames. I am also a skilled, but relatively casual gamer and I focus on improving and doing well, but I absolutely want to do it on my own terms and not by what the meta dictates is good.

At any rate, I don't really play multiplayer games anymore, as I just don't have the time for them. Have you looked into groups or anything to get yourself to socialize? No idea what it's like in Japan, but physical interaction and getting together with people in a proper physical space is a big boon to mental health. Even myself, as an avowed introvert, needs that human connection from time to time.
 
Hello.

Nice to meet you. I’ve just joined the PC Gamer community, but I often read its articles as an unregistered user. The biggest crisis I (and probably many other gamers) face today is lack of connections. I go to work, come home, play games alone, go to bed, and repeat. Turns out that’s not great for mental health. It’s also not good for professional development and networking. So, I’ve decided to register here to see if I can’t find a few similarly lonely but like-minded gamers lurking around. Who knows, maybe it’ll even lead to some work connections.

People often throw the terms ‘casual’ and ‘hardcore’ around as antonyms, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear consensus on what they mean. Everyone interprets them differently. In fact, descriptors of skill and/or playstyle tend to be subjective in general. Consequently, it can be rather hard to find people who are on the same page. Or at least, that’s my experience. It’s hard to actually describe myself as a gamer in a way that other people will understand objectively. Still, I’ve got to try, so here goes nothing.

Having played games for over two decades, I’m obviously experienced. However, my personality also makes me the type to binge on things. If you’re into that MBTI stuff (I’m not a convert, but I’ve read them out of curiosity), then I’d describe myself as an INFP, maybe. I’m fairly idealistic and I get really into whatever catches my attention. As a gamer, this means I put in the hours. A lot of hours. If it’s a game with a high replay value and I like it, then chances are I have at least 100-200 hours in it. I’ve clocked thousands in some of my old standby MMOs, with over 10000 in RuneScape alone. These hours translate into skill, but I am neither competitive (consequently, I almost never play PvP games) nor ambitious. Therefore, I don’t actively study and improve my game the way you might expect a high-end competitive gamer to. However, I am still a perfectionist within my own standards. That means I try to play my best. And that usually means figuring out ‘effective’ ways to play the game (i.e. “the meta”). Despite this, I hold a great deal of contempt for meta-minded gameplay. Yes, I want to be effective. Yes, I want to play my best. But, I don’t play for the meta. I simply want to make use of the parts that I like in order to meet my own high standards. The culmination of all this is that I am what might be described as a highly skilled casual gamer.

I’ve found it difficult to fit into gaming communities that are often tacitly segregated into “casual” and “hardcore” groups. One side aims to play at the highest level as defined by certain commonly held ideals. They’re always clearing the latest, greatest, and hardest games and content and then clamouring for more. Meanwhile, the other side seems to just be super laid back, with an “anything goes” mindset. “Let people do what they want.” It’s great to be so friendly and welcoming, but it also comes at the cost of anything skill-based. I have a couple of gaming friends and I really enjoy playing with them because we’re like-minded both in games and in the real world, but they can never keep up with my pace, so I slow down for them. I’m happy to have such great friends, but I’d also like to have some friends who I don’t have to slow down for.

Having similar values outside of games is also important to get along as more than just bantering in-game clanmates, so I’ll introduce that briefly as well, without getting overly political.

I believe in honesty, open-mindedness, creativity, and individualism. I really struggle with modern society’s emphasis on material value and money. The most valuable things in life are immaterial and/or can’t be bought. I dislike wastefulness and consumerism in general. I’m not a fan of capitalism either, but it’s never the fault of specific political systems, so it’s more accurate to just say that I disagree with the way modern society functions. Game worlds often reflect the same dysfunctions, which exasperates me. Even though I value open-mindedness, I’m probably more closed-minded than I think. I live in Japan and, as an individualist, I dislike feeling that I have to assimilate into its culture and tend to openly vent my frustrations. I’m not sure whether that makes me the *******. As you can probably tell, I’m a prolific writer. I’m better with the written word. It lets me formulate my thoughts. My favorite place to be is actually not in-game. I love just standing alone on quiet mountaintops in the wind.

So, that’s me. Please feel free to say ‘Hi’ if you feel like gaming with me. I live in Japan, so my connection to North America can be patchy. If you’re on the west coast it’s not too bad, though. If you’re also in Japan, that’d be great. I don’t have any gamer friends in Japan.

~Nocturnia~
Sounds a lot like me, tbh, but it's unlikely we'd find a game match. I tend to flit from game to game, anyway.
 
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Feb 11, 2022
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I happened to get an email summary of recent forums activity, this post caught my eye, and I'm very glad I happened to be subscribed to that mailing list... Just about everything here describes myself with frightening accuracy! Except for playing MMOs; I'm a completionist in everything I do, so I'm afraid to start any MMO-type thing because I'll never be able to finish it.

A side effect of that is I tend to busy myself with a million things, so I unfortunately can't guarantee anything timely, but I'd very much like to talk and find something to play sometime! I am on the East coast of North America though, so there might be some struggles there. Fingers crossed I understand this correctly, but I should have my settings set to let you send me a direct message here! Lemme know if I'm mistaken and I can share some other contact method.
 
Welcome! This is actually a refreshing introduction and i hope you stick around!

I dont go as hard into MMOs as you seem to but i have my fair share in Destiny 2 (yes its an MMO) though ive stepped away from it a while back.

If you like Co-ops you might like to try Helldivers 2 its amazing and democratic.
 
Mar 14, 2024
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Whoa... after a few days of checking back here, I kind of just forgot about it, but I'm glad to see that I've gotten some response. Thank you all.

I happened to get an email summary of recent forums activity, this post caught my eye, and I'm very glad I happened to be subscribed to that mailing list... Just about everything here describes myself with frightening accuracy! Except for playing MMOs; I'm a completionist in everything I do, so I'm afraid to start any MMO-type thing because I'll never be able to finish it.

A side effect of that is I tend to busy myself with a million things, so I unfortunately can't guarantee anything timely, but I'd very much like to talk and find something to play sometime! I am on the East coast of North America though, so there might be some struggles there. Fingers crossed I understand this correctly, but I should have my settings set to let you send me a direct message here! Lemme know if I'm mistaken and I can share some other contact method.
Likewise, I am glad that I actually came back onto the forum and saw this. I'd be happy to find something to play together sometime! I tried to figure out how to start a "Conversation" via the PC Gamer forum, but it has eluded me, so you can find me under [] on Discord, if you'd like. Feel free to contact me again here if you have any trouble.

I'm originally from Eastern Canada, in fact. It's unfortunate that my connection to the East Coast is now terrible, but I still play with one friend there.
 
Last edited:
Mar 14, 2024
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Hi! Does it not work if you mouse over on the name of the member in question and select Start Conversation' in the floating window?
I tried that. There's no button for it that I can see. Just [Follow|Ignore]. I tried visiting the profile page, too, but didn't find anything there, either. Is there maybe a part of the registration process that I left incomplete that is required before conversations are allowed?
 
I tried that. There's no button for it that I can see. Just [Follow|Ignore]. I tried visiting the profile page, too, but didn't find anything there, either. Is there maybe a part of the registration process that I left incomplete that is required before conversations are allowed?
Might be a limitation on newer accounts to prevent spammers from joining and spamming nasty links in PMs. Sorry I didnt know about that one.
 

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