You still haven't mentioned if you have separate taps for hot and cold in your sink...you're starting to make me think your whole country is also a part of the conspiracy and has been kept from the secrets of hydrological temperature regulation. Or maybe your Civ just hasn't researched it yet...
When we got our whole house fan about 8 years ago, they gave us a Smart Switch. I thought I'd be able to control it via my phone, as well as have the regular switch on the wall to turn it off and on, but nope, it was phone only. I had them come back and give me a regular old switch, because I don't need that stuff in my life. The only smart thing I can think of that we own is the TV and I've blocked it off from the internet so it serves only as a monitor for the PC it's connected to.
Also, Fedora on my Surface Go didn't last. I was hoping things would feel a little faster on Linux with that old machine, but they actually ended-up feeling a bit slower over all, as well as having some graphical glitches. But the final straw was how it unmounted the SDcard after a reboot, which I had to mount in a special way in order to get Steam to recognize and use. Soon as I saw it missing, it was about 9pm and I just didn't feel like messing with it anymore, so I reinstalled Windows and decided to be done with it. I'm sure I could have written a script or something to automount it, but I just was tired of futzing and gave up.