Weekend Question: What's your favorite thing a unit in a strategy game says when you click on them?

PCG Jody

Staff member
Dec 9, 2019
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I ask the PCG staff a regular Weekend Question and post the answers on the site. If you'd like to throw in an answer here, I'll squeeze the best into the finished article!

This week's question is: What's your favorite thing a unit in a strategy game says when you click on them?

The Warcraft grunt's "Stop poking me!" is a classic, but it's hard to go past some of the things units in Company of Heroes come out with if you click on them too much. The Age of Empires and Command & Conquer series had plenty of memorable quotes, and it's worth trying to select enemy troops in Total War games just to hear them insult you. Me, I could listen to the orks from Dawn of War all day long.
 
In Total War Warhammer 3, there are a lot of good ones, but my favorite is one of the Tzeentch generals who seems to have been voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. He's extremely enthusiastic. A lot of times when you click on him he just yells, "It's meeee!" which for some reason cheers me up.

After you win the game, you get Be'lakor, the perpetually angry and gruff antagonist as a general. If you are in the Kislev area where it's snowy, he will say (with no small amount of disgust) "So many snowflakes." Reminds me of your typical Internet discussion and cracks me up. At least he doesn't call you a "beta" if you ask him to retreat.
 
Aug 3, 2022
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In Total War Warhammer 3, there are a lot of good ones, but my favorite is one of the Tzeentch generals who seems to have been voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. He's extremely enthusiastic. A lot of times when you click on him he just yells, "It's meeee!" which for some reason cheers me up.

After you win the game, you get Be'lakor, the perpetually angry and gruff antagonist as a general. If you are in the Kislev area where it's snowy, he will say (with no small amount of disgust) "So many snowflakes." Reminds me of your typical Internet discussion and cracks me up. At least he doesn't call you a "beta" if you ask him to retreat.
Ready for murderin!
 
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Found another bunch from C&C Generals/Zero Hour:

AK-47s for everyone!—Angry Mob
I'll suck the internet dry—Hacker
Behold the bringer of light—Nuke Cannon
Let's go car shopping—Hijacker
Begin stitching—Quad Cannon
Sweet ascension of doom—SCUD Launcher

Dr Thrax:
Ready for another chemistry lesson, heh?
Prepare to tell your three-eyed grandchildren of your defeat this day!
General, if you keep destroying my vehicles, how can I bring you your medicine? Hahaha
It is so hard to find a doctor these days who still makes house calls, haaa. But Dr Thrax still does! Hahaha
Your troops appear in-TOXIC-ated, general! Hahahaha
You'll come for the toxin, but you'll stay… because you're dead! Hahaha!

Prince Kassad:
So many base defenses, general. What are you afraid of?

General Leang:
Rage will only get you so far, general. Now, rage and a column of tanks… that will get you somewhere
Suicide is not a tactic, general
The dance of battle is strange and brief—and this battle with you has been… strangely brief! Hahaha

General Tsing Shi Tao:
Oh, I see your power is down, general. Should I send you some nuclear energy? Hahaha
Time to put on your lead underwear!
Five nukes! Maybe you want me to send you a clean pair of shorts now, huh? Hahaha

General Alexis Alexander:
I've been analyzing your tactics, and I'm just amazed. Do you even have any tactics, general?
That's a lot of tanks, general. Have you seen what a particle beam can do to a lot of tanks?
Oh, why can't I ever find someone that lasts more than five minutes?

General Juhziz:
You might notice that my explosives pack a bit more punch. I hope you appreciate our attention to quality, hahaha
Careful, general… this looks like a good place for an ambush. Oops! Too late! Hahaha

General Ironside:
I got three things to teach you, kid: how to lose, how to cry, and how to die!
So, you're not a real general, are you? You're like the Surgeon General or something like that, right?
I got more medals than you've got teeth, boy! Which won't be sayin' much, after I get done knocking 'em out for you! Hahaha
Here we come, kid! Try not to wet yourself, okay?

General Townes:
Don't look directly at the laser! You could burn out… the back of your head! Hahaha

General Granger:
You've lost a lot of buildings, general. Were you planning on using… harsh language now?
 
Aug 24, 2022
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There was a 90s RTS (I only had the demo, probably from a PC Gamer disc) that I have been trying to remember since then, it was quite like warcraft, I think the units wore red and it was based in the middle ages (I only played it for around 20 minutes so I may be misremembering) and the units said "I'll do this" or "I'll do that" in a slow drawl way.

Any one remember that one?
 
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